My last several weeks have been pretty awful, to be honest. I spent hours upon hours staring at 3,000+ files of ultrasonic recordings of bats in order to write a thesis that, eventually, got rejected. I don’t really want to dwell on the crap that ensued, so I’ll basically sum it up as a warning to anyone working/planning to work on an MA thesis (at least in a program like mine):
Unless you 100% have COMPLETE AND TOTAL faith in them, do NOT trust that the people on your faculty (advisers, second readers, etc) are on top of their end of your project. Do NOT assume, even though you gave detailed descriptions of your study in the thesis proposal and grant applications, that your advisor has any idea what you’re doing for your thesis. Do NOT assume that being a good, hard, independent worker is going to go well for you; rather, try to be as clingy and needy to your faculty as you possibly can, so that things don’t go for you as they did for me.
Long story short, I will be getting the Certification for the program instead of the full-fledged MA degree.
And you know what? I don’t care. They can keep their degree, for the way they acted and treated me (particularly in the last few weeks). I’m headed to a fantastic vet school in beautiful Edinburgh, Scotland, where I am going to learn to be a doctor, and from which I’ll actually be proud to get the letters added after my name.
Yea… there’s some spite left… can you tell?
But it’s okay. It took me a few days to get over it, but it’s all good now.
And you know what got me out of that huge, nasty rut?
I went to my night-shifts at work and did what I do best. I read funky ECGs, stared at rads, squinted at the blurry ultrasound of a beating heart, restrained for a cysto, and even pulled blood–and man, it felt good. It reminded me of what awesome stuff is coming up ahead, and of how good I can be at what I enjoy doing. There’s a lovely, delicious sort of satisfaction that comes with every new bit of understanding of how the animal body works, and with every instance in which that understanding is confirmed by something as simple as a rush of blood up a needle.
Sounds cheesy, maybe, but that’s what got me back on my feet.
I love knowing that I’ve finally found what I want to do with my life.
Plus, GUESS WHAT?! Now that the stupid thesis thing is out of my hair, I HAVE FREE TIME AGAIN! It’s amazing. I keep getting this nice little surprise every few hours when I stop and try to figure out what mandatory, immediate obligations I have sitting on my back… and then realize, once again, that there aren’t any.
WOAH MAN. It’s like getting slapped in the face by a warm summer’s day. I love it.
And once Tuesday (day after tomorrow) passes, I will be done with classes until vet school starts. It’s incredible.
So, yeah… Expect more posts more often from now on. :) Things are getting good.